I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please come you make the beer taste better
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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