Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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