In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize