I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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