she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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