woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
