sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love having hate sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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