Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
