what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
