redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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