i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize