Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
