the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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