I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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