bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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