i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
