and you said cock pushups were impossible
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
