We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
