first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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