After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
