Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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