so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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