Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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