Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize