yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
