Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
