i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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