he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
