:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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