Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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