Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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