I wannas sexs uuuuu
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
