Well douche your snatch and let's go!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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