First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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