i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize