I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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