so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
