Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
