He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
