I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize