I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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