I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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