i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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