Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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