That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
