I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
