Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
