Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
