Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
