he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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