drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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