Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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