Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize