She said her name was "party"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
