no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
