I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
