it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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