He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
