Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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