Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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