The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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