Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My feet surprised me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
