He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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