Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Enjoy the penises
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
